Dear Christy, (*BC Days)
Girl, girl, girl you have no idea what you are getting yourself into. Here is a snippet of what is to come. Now, calm the f'ck down and focus, focus, FOCUS!!!! What I am going to tell you because this will save you from yourself more times than you will realize.
1. Shit is going to happen, a LOT!
2. Getting married, you will do it twice and it will all be ok. Trust me! OH, and you WILL have two healthy children, despite what the doctors will tell you.
3 The treadmill.... not the physical one but the mental one... Yeah, you know what I'm talking about, get off it when you start to circle in on your thoughts about what if, why, why now, but, or its not how I envisioned it.
4. You are enough and when you feel like you aren't enough, STOP EVERYTHING and breathe.
5. ASK FOR HELP!!! No one cares about your ego but be careful who you ask. Some folks are waiting to see you fail. F'ck them! Here's a tip : Make a 1x1 inch piece of paper and carry it with you. On it place only the very few people who get a say in your life. You. Are. Welcome.
6. Everyone is doing the very best with what they have been given, today. So don't prejudge, don't assume and don't pretend you understand them until you do.
7. Expect nothing. Don't get me wrong have goals, visions and dreams but don't go into things expecting things from others until after you have talked about these expectations.
8. Travel, travel, travel but budget, budget, budget. Its called balance girl, you NEED IT.
9. Credit cards... don't get a lot. Hell, only have one and pay it off every month. (This should be no. 1 of this list)
10. Have a tribe of your own. It will take time to really understand this but you will get there. And, you probably want to have a few tribes to belong too. Thats ok!
11. You will feel more alone than not and that is completely normal. You are a creative! Hey, I bet you didn't even know that!?! Surprise... and you won't suck at it, so PRETTY PLEAE DON'T GIVE UP.
12. Stay relevant with your kids. They need you to want to be involved. Listen to their music, read their books, listen to them don't just talk to them but do answer all of their questions no matter how hard it is to do so. You have only a short time when they still listen to your advice.
13. Invest in good skin care products.
14. Exercise 3-4 times a week, preferable outside when you can. Especially after you have your kids.
15. You are more than the scared little girl who feels dirty, poor, fat and stupid. You are so much more. You are greatness, you just have to fight to see it in yourself.
16. Seek out education at least 3-4 times per year in some facet.
17. Listen to your elders but trust your intuition. They are not always right. Ex. Discrimination and Segregation in the south girl... it is wrong, wrong, so wrong! Choose love always.
18. Sign up for dance classes no matter how old you are; you will not regret it.
19. Date your spouse. Date our kids independently. Spend quality time with your friends.
20. Technology is not always your friend. This thing called social media is coming for you and it will consume you for a while, but you will figure it out. Remember everything is about balance over insanity.
21. You will have to travel a great distance to know what home feels like to you.
22. Letting go. This one of the most important things to always work out. You will loose so much and you will survive it all. So, when you ache all over, you don't want to get out of bed and you cry sometimes because it is f'cking hard to imagine a tomorrow, let go and allow yourself to be mad, sad and call these days 'dip days.' It will help you.
23. That pain I was just talking about, well you need to resist sometimes because you will use that pain to help others. It will in the end heal you but you will feel like you are traveling through a fog for a while....you will be able to function but it won't be with full cylinders as per usual.
25. Love yourself so you can have a heart that is full of love for others.
You got this girlie!
Love you more,
*BC Days = Before Children Days
"After every storm I've navigated through, I awoke tired but I knew my strength was mighty. I used to be good but know I'm walking toward my greatness. Let today be the day I know that I am enough. " - Me, Christy D Swanberg